I’ve written a lot about how California is doing its level best to scare away every business in the state. Now you can add a paragraph about what they are doing to scare away every RESIDENT in the state.
I just got a new apartment. Yes, at the end of August I will be moving from [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION A] to sunny [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION B]. It’s a great place, and up until half an hour ago – when I went in to sign the lease agreement – I was really excited about it.
Not anymore. Here are some of the clauses I had to agree to (and I hope you’re sitting down!)
NO CRIMINAL ACTIVITY ON PREMISES. Well! There goes the meth lab AND the underage Vietnamese prostitution ring. How am I supposed to make my rent when the lease for that very apartment forbids me from making any money?
ALLOWS LANDLORD TO ENTER THE APARTMENT WITHOUT NOTICE IN THE CASE OF FLOOD, BLOOD OR DEATH. Okay, great! So now what they’re saying is that a man does not have a right to keep dead bodies in the privacy of his own apartment? This used to be a free country. Statists!
TERRORISM NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE ON PROPERTY. Okay, let me see if I have this straight: they’re saying that if I fly a guy in from Yemen, let’s say, on my own dime, and I train the guy in my own private apartment on flight simulators that I paid for with my own hard-earned money… and then that guys goes off and flies a jet into a building I could lose my apartment? Just like that?
I’ll tell you what I told them: you wanna put these kind of anti-business, anti-freedom clauses in your lease, California, you need to advise the renter about them before they write you the deposit.
Savages.
If you want to see how California is chasing business away, you can watch this:
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Ha Bill this is great. I bet you were assured these clauses are rarely enforced, but then again that’s what they want you to believe.
Bill, you can’t live there because you are a terrorist, according to the MSM. You are a member of the TEA PARTY, a dangerous collection of misfits. They even wear hats with tea bags hanging off.
Wouldn’t expect anything less from the great state of California. Wait until CARB kills the transportation industry. I think that will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
It might have something to do with insurance…pretty sure those guys are the gatekeepers of the kingdom!
oh, relax…just boilerplate *cya* stuff…sure, probably no meth lab, but I bet you can grow marijuana (since Loc B is sunny & well, it’s California!) I think you’re ok on the last one re: terrorism *as long as* your trainee flies into ‘other’ buildings, you know…just not THAT one. Otherwise, I think you’d lose your deposit…well, probably your apartment, too. Better hide your teabags just in case.
“TERRORISM NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE ON PROPERTY”.
Gee, does this mean you cannot run a mosque from your property? Not even distribute saudi funded publishings about the glory of the future caliphate? Where do these people think they are? America?
Bill, I’m serious…. I’ll make you a good deal on my house in Texas! Probably half the price of your apartment for four times the space! Nobody will ever know what devious activity you perform there.
But as long as you can plot world domination undisturbed from Undisclosed Location B, not to worry, everything’s going to be OK.
I’m a tech nerd and I didn’t even have CA in my list of relocation states when I moved last year. Lots of work, but so much moocher and looter political bullshit that it wasn’t worth any extra pay (which would have been eaten by taxes and costs anyway). Moved to TX instead, much happier.
You did not mention the worst renter’s restriction, which is becoming more common in California: no smoking on the premises.
as a non-california property owner, the first two are pretty standard, the third one is unusual but does not shock me
the first one is there to give the owner a way to evict people for using drugs, the second one is to allow the owner to enter in case of emergency like to fix a broken pipe, and the “terrorism” one is there for insurance reasons (policies now specifically exclude damage caused by terrorism, although i think that clause as drafted does not help much and i think the owner does not understand how that exclusion works)
these are not anti-business, anti-freedom clauses: quite the opposite
i believe that the terrorism clause was mandated by the patriot act, if mem serves.
More proof. There are indeed too many lawyers on this planet.
Bill:
You should have just waited a few more months. For just a bit more than what you were probably asked for as a deposit on your new digs, you could take control of the entire City of Los Angeles when it goes into BK – it’s not like people are going to be standing in line to rescue that Ship of Fools. You, and a small group of the old Eject, Eject, Eject readership could probably whip it into shape in no time at all. Who knows, you might do such a good job that “Runaway Production” will not be attractive anymore, and the Hollywood-Left (I know that it’s almost redundant) won’t have to be complete hypocrites in denouncing “off-shoring/out-sourcing” while they run to Vancouver, Toronto, or even New Mexico, for new production.
I wonder how many of those clauses are intended to prevent asset forfeiture if a tenant is operating a criminal business out of an apartment.
And where’s the Prop 65 warning? Sue!!!!!!
re: terrorism clause
does it have to be real terrorism, or just “known by the State of California to be terrorism?”
Given the apparent portability of your vocation/avocation I’mna kinda surprised you’re not following the steely-eyed rocketeers to their more business-friendly digs.
This reminds me of the first time I saw the large sign at the airport, that depicts a cartoon bomb with a lit fuse, in a red circle with a with a red line thru it. Whatdayaknow! turns out, you can’t take a bomb on a plane! Thank goodness I saw that sign! Thank goodness it was a pictograph and not just words, or I might have tried to take my bomb with me. This was an important message to law abiding criminals everywhere! Seriously, wouldn’t you have liked to be in attendance at the meeting where the proposal to have these signs printed up was floated? “Hey Bob, I think a sign prohibiting bombs might be in order!” “Brilliant Joe, you deserve a promotion!” “We’ve been looking for more useless ways to use taxpayers money and inflate the cost of air-travel!” “This is the best idea you’ve had since frisking little kids headed for Disney World!”
uuhhh. There will be NO posting/displaying of any offensive (OUR interpretation, at that time) material, neither inside nor outside. This includes but is not exclusive(?) of American flags, Bibles and obviously the Declaration of Independence, The Constitution and The Bill of Rights
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it nor understand it.
Subject to change without notice, whenever we feel like it or have been paid off, or threatened with REAL legal action
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